We've been thinking a lot about the concept of help. WORD is a woman owned business and in our experience, we, along with a lot of our fellow Goddess community, always seem to have a hard time asking AND accepting help. So, we are excited to launch The Thread; a series that examines how and why we do or don't ask for help. We’ve tapped into the hearts of women and asked them to share moments where they’ve asked for help, personal and professional.
We hope this series will encourage you to allow yourself to ask and receive help. Only when we truly surrender to our needs do we begin to heal and grow.
Veronica Tolentino, President of dude. be nice.
Veronica is a truly passionate and compassionate woman. Some may call her an empath, but best believe, she also takes no shit! Her efforts to make the world a better and more fair place are exhibited through her love for her family, support of her community and fearless ability to have those hard conversations with grace and intelligence. Like many of us, Veronica’s path is complex and filled with many lessons. The work never ends but what matters is that we are doing it. Take a peek below and feel free to reach out to her or leave notes in the comments. Remember, take care of yourself.
Name: Veronica Tolentino
Hometown: Whittier, CA
Career: President at dude. be nice / Founder at Loud
When was the first time in your life that you realized you needed help?
I come from a very large family where I learned at a very young age helping each other and helping others is always necessary. I actually can't remember a time when asking for help or helping others wasn't a necessity.
Where or who did you find support from?
I have a found a new and strong support in myself after going back to therapy and doing some serious self exploration. I feel supported when spending in-person time with the communities I belong to. I find support in my husband, my parents, my brothers and my closest friends.
Has it been difficult to find support in your career journey? Share a story where you’ve felt supported.
It depends on which point in my career we're speaking to! Early on, I felt very lost and unsupported. I've had bosses who spent more time being threatened by my work and personality than investing in my talents. I've had times when I've been my own worst enemy, telling myself I couldn't or shouldn't or that I wasn't good enough. Later, as I learned where to seek support and how to manage my own expectations, I've found it easier to find support. I recently decided to start a new business, and I've been both terrified and excited. When I opened up to friends and close family about the idea, they've lifted me up, reminded me that I was capable and have cheered me on at every literal step of the way. I've been blown away. I have found so much comfort in their words and actions and in the gratitude I've felt.
What advice would you give to someone who is afraid to ask for help?
Ask yourself why you're afraid to ask for help. Then address that. Head on. There are a million reasons we're afraid to ask for help and generally they're tied to parts of our spirit that need some attention. Once you can begin to work to free yourself of that, you'll find it easier to ask for and receive help. I've found that turning the mirror back to me generally provides the answer to any situation.